Sexuality.

I'm pretty sure I believe in soul mates. Most of the time it sounds pret-ty corny, and especially so when certain types of people talk about it. Something occurred to me lately though, that maybe we don't only have one soul mate, but two. One female, one male, no matter what sex you are. The crazy thing is, I have found both. I've never really admitted to a whole lot of people that I'm attracted to women, but in knowing all of me, you would know this too. The crazy thing is that this is not so much of a big deal to me anymore...except maybe a little bit. I mean, I know there are a lot of people out there who cringe at the mere mention of any type of sexuality, much less homosexuality. But I guess it's been a part of me for so long, and I've been comfortable with it for what's almost a few years now, that there's only a small part of me that's squeamish about other people knowing. In fact, I welcome people knowing this about me because it's one more little gem about myself that I generally keep to myself. Maybe to know me is to know all of me. I think that's how I want it. :) The truth is that the inside of me is vibrant and beautiful and juicy. I have felt non-descript for almost all of my life, but the truth is that all the description is inside, waiting for safety. Well, I'm getting to the safety, day by day. :D It's pretty amazing. I think that people don't realize what goes on in this head of mine and that's how I liked it for the longest time.

In fact, I still have some reluctance to let the whole world see me. It's like I'll become mainstream or something haha. I kind of compare it to the great little bands that only a few people know about and it's like a fun little secret that everyone who knows relishes... and then, as the greatest bands do, they get discovered, and the WHOLE WORLD thinks they are the GREATEST band EVER! and then the ones who knew about them the whole time get disgusted, sick to their stomachs almost, thinking of something akin to their band being exploited by all these morons who only love them because they're the greatest thing at the moment.
Now, I'm not saying that I'll get world-famous because of what's inside me; I don't plan on writing a NY Times Bestselling autobiography or anything, but the concept applies. Sometimes the great little secrets are best kept a true secret. Maybe to know me isn't to know all of me. Maybe it is best that way.