What Really Counts?

Those who know me best know that I am not very good at the little social niceties that some people are so good at, like calling from time to time just to check in, or passing along little things you might find interesting, and other things like that. I'm just not good at maintaining a steady casual social give-and-take with really anyone who isn't close to me geographically. For some reason I dread phonecalls, and am no good at sending notes. I write them, sure, but somehow they hardly ever make it to the intended recipient, and if they do it's months overdue. I'm not sure why I'm this way; I'm not sure why I don't seek out ongoing or frequent contact with the people I love who aren't near me. I can say though, that anyone who really needs something from me - something I can do or give - I'm all there. But if it's just idle contact? I'm just not your girl for some reason. I'm not sure which is better... being someone who's there all the time for chit-chat and stuff, or someone who's only there when you really need them, lol.

I really think I may be a hermit at heart, or maybe more like I just should have lived when everybody stayed in the same place their whole lives lol, cause I can do the interpersonal thing on a face-to-face basis, as long as the other person isn't needy or overbearing. If we can have healthy, mutually enjoyable time together, I love that stuff and am pretty good at making fun, wholesome times with people...pretty much anybody who doesn't irritate me by virtue of just who they are lol. I can count those on one hand though, out of everyone I know.