Atmosphere is Everything.

I have a beautiful little life. Not necessarily extraordinary, but incredibly beautiful. Committed life agrees so well with me; it has for the last four years, and of the last year of those, married life is just as sweet. I've always longed for a harmonious existence with people in close proximity to me; I just wanted a mild-tempered home. My mom and I had a pretty good relationship, but she was usually onto SOMEbody about SOMEthing...usually a brother about something trivial but that became blown out of proportion by both of them. It's a sad way to live, with the people in the household always churning with something, waiting to unleash it on the first one to cross them. I'm well-aquainted with all the ins and outs of domestic discord - though thankfully not the violent kind at the hand of either parent or to each other - and am so done with it. I can't figure out why so many people haven't figured out that the key to happiness is establishing a consistently harmonious relationship with those who are closest to them. Really, what is the point of living your life day in and day out at odds with somebody over stupid things? I don't understand why they don't just say "Enough! Let's be friends, please?" I'm so disgusted when I see family members treating each other like crap, especially adults, because I am so beyond that stage in my life that I think everybody else should be too. I mean isn't it common knowledge to everyone, now that it's well-known by me? ;) :P. But no, I know it doesn't work like that; everybody is at their own stage of development, and if they're 60+, well, God (please) help them.

My familiarity with and distaste for discord made me especially keen to create a good environment in my own small world. Jamie and I don't often have an off day, or hour even, but when we do, we've built our relationship on the most straightforward kind of honesty that I've ever known about, that if there's a problem we (usually I :P) just have out with it, and then we can move on. Jamie is so mild that the only outbursts are from me, and they're short-lived and harmless enough 'cause he just listens. I feel so good about the prevailing atmosphere of goodwill and real harmony that stays with us. Our life might just be about as good as it gets, as far as coupleships go.

Especially since couples frequently fight about money, and as far as I remember we've never had reason to really argue about money... I feel really good about that too by the way. I LOVE being able to save a ton of money over the summer. It makes me feel really good about my contribution to our financial well-being. For some reason, when I'm not employed I start to get depressed that I'm not making any money, and I feel like I'm not contributing much of anything to our relationship. I'm not sure where I got these feelings from, but they're very real and very debilitating. So I'm pretty sure I'll always try to stay employed at least a little bit lol. I don't like working very much at these silly little jobs that mean nothing. I'm not lazy in the most obvious sense, I'm just selective about what deserves my passion and my little jobs are not that passion-inducing. I don't dislike work by itself, see. I dislike the jobs that my work goes into. I may have said this before, but the only work I see as worth anything to me is physical labor. Some people feel like applying their minds - or mildly applying their bodies by working a computer or filing - is a worthwhile job, and that's fine. If you can be happy working a register, a computer, or drawing up blueprints, or making sales calls, then more power to you. But for me that is not where my true power or happiness lies. My true power lies in my body. My soul and my body is happy when I am in motion. Therefore, I have decided to be a farmer. I've always wanted to have a farm, and I'm going to make it happen soon. I want goats, a garden, chickens, a couple of horses... enough to keep me busy in the only way I was ever meant to be busy.

The other way I am meant to be occupied is with children. I can't wait to have five or ten underfoot. Even more important to me than cultivating living things outside is cultivating living things indoors, filling their little hearts and souls with love, and filling their minds with important things, teaching them skills that will last them a lifetime. God, it's such a joy, having tiny humans around. I simply cannot wait to have my own. The sooner the better. Oh, and one more thing, I've given up on ever having more money than the average Joe, and that is entirely okay with me. I am well beyond the poverty I grew up with, and that spells financial contentment for me :). I believe we will always be comfortable, though perhaps never affluent. Man, my life is truly one worth hanging onto forever; it will always be an awfully big adventure ;).